I came across an article talking about financial compatibility, advising couples in a relationship to find out whether they are financially compatible or not. Experts say it is important to do this even before tying the knot. This is a practical advice as money disagreements have been cited to be the number two reason why a lot of couples get divorced.
What the experts say
According to financial expert Philip DeMuth, part author of the book “The Little Book of Investing Do’s and Don’ts”, take notice of how your partner deals with money right from the beginning of the relationship. Pay attention to how money is handled during the first few dates. It is not a good sign if your potential partner throws money around just to impress you. Having lots of money is not an excuse to spend crazily taking Warren Buffet as an example.
If your partner likes to use cash to settle payments, it may indicate that he is careful about credit card debt. On the other hand, it could also mean that he has had his cards cancelled. If you want to find out the real situation – ask! At the same time, look out for signs indicating financial stability in your potential partner. Two signs of financial stability are being a homeowner and staying at a workplace or sticking to a job for a long period.
After marriage, couples should continue to keep track of each other’s finances. Jacquette Timmons, the author of “Financial Intimacy: How to Create a Healthy Relationship with Your Money and Your Mate”, suggests that couples discuss about money regularly to avoid problems especially concerning big purchases like buying a house.
Timmons also suggests talking about the various issues of money, i.e. “earning, saving, investing and spending.” During the discussions, take note which area you and your partner agree and disagree.
According to Manisha Thakor, author of “Get Financially Naked: How to Talk Money with Your Honey”, couples may find it tough to be open about money even knowing the importance of it.
To overcome communication barriers, Ryan Himmel, a certified public accountant offers the following tips:
• Open up about your past personal financial mistakes
• Choose an appropriate time to talk about money, not after one partner just had a difficult day at work
• Appoint a financial advisor to get a neutral third party opinion
• Use the word “we” rather than “you” or “me” to promote team effort
Lastly, if your potential partner refuses to talk or open up, DeMuth’s advice is to run away or break off from the relationship.
Reference source: www.forbes.com
Read other articles by Jacquelyn at WParent.com on parenting matters and Tips4Everyone.com on solving marriage problems.
6 replies to "Financial Compatibility: Talk before tying the knot!"
Agree. There are a lot of married couples argue about money during their marriage life and when they get divorced. Therefore, both sides should really talk properly before tying the knot.
All these are step by step guidance … what are the percentage of married couples following it ?
In order to follow this, the financial awareness and mindset of the couple must be in a higher and long term level .. and take up the responsibility themselves …
More often, we see around us that after marriage, couples still rely financial aid from their parents or parents-in-law to settle their car loan, house down payment, children’s education, credit card bills …
Easy way out, but damaging to all parties
Money is not everything. But everything in a marriage life needs money. It’s important to be in control of family finance to have a happy marriage and family. In my experience, having a family financial plan (some call it Roadmap to Financial Freedom) is one of the best ways to align husband and wife’s money management. The purpose of family financial plan is to achieve financial freedom for the family combining husband and wife’s financial resources. It’s helpful to achieve financial compatibility in two ways.
First, it requires both husband and wife to set common financial goals for the family.
Second, it requires both the husband and wife to combine their financial resources togeher to achieve those goals.
By having and following a family financial plan, the couple will be more aligned in their money management.
Totally agree. If husband and wife do not have the same “frequency” on family financial aspect, arguments will happen. For those who have kids, encourage them to participate as well. Let them feel that they are part of the family financial success. This not only fulfill the family’s financial aspect but also encourage each family member to live in harmony.
Yup!! that’s the remedy, live happily ever after!! Talking from experiences, it really helps.
Compatibiity is the key word in marriage. There is no point in falling in love in the first sight for ms.cinderella or mr.tall-dark-n-handsome and walking down the aisle without knowing each other in detail. & that detail includes financial! Faking one self while dating just to impress each other is the recipe for future disaster. & financial talk is a must before you decide he/she is the one for you. We may not meet a partner who thinks and makes decision like us, because we never grew in the same home, environment or circumstances! What makes a good relationship in all aspect including financial is the compability – the ability to accept each other’s opinion, give in (not give up) and compromise. Just my dua-sen!