Ok, so after all these years of being Mum and Dad, nurturing and caring for the young ones from the time of their birth, through the growing-up years, teenage hood, young adulthood, and then suddenly – they’ve grown up, left home, gone off to study abroad or outstation.
Suddenly, the house is so quiet, so empty, and you and your husband keep wondering around aimlessly, wondering what to do next.
Yes dear friends, you are afflicted with a common syndrome called ENS…Empty Nest Syndrome! :)
The good news is, it won’t last for long. As with many things, you will slowly get used to the transition from being full-time, hands-on parents to being “remote parents”. Gradually you will find your rhythm and start to develop new routines and pastimes, perhaps take on new hobbies, widen your circle of friends, and maybe even get involved in community initiatives or charitable organisations.
On a more practical note however, here’s a suggestion for your post-Empty Nest Syndrome to-do list that will not only fill up some of the extra time but will also highly benefit you as a couple in the long-term – do a full audit of your financial position as well as short, medium and long-term plans.
What should we do first?
Probably the most immediate need is to revisit current budgets and financial plans for the current year and maybe, the next 2-3 years. If your children are studying, the likelihood is that you are paying for their education. Depending on where and what subjects they are studying, as well as your financial profile, the financial impact on you as a couple could range from low, to moderate, to high. A few things to think about here would include whether you have accurately factored not only the fixed costs but also the hidden costs and a buffer for any emergency, into your budget for your childrens’ education over the next couple of years.
If, having done this, you feel confident when you look at your financial situation, then you probably do not need to make adjustments to your current lifestyle. But if you find that you may have miscalculated or under-estimated your financial exposure, perhaps it would be wise to step up your financial prudence or look for ways to increase income or returns on your existing investments. For example, to generate more income, perhaps you have one or more empty rooms in your house now that the kids have moved out.
You might wish to consider renting one of them to a boarder, perhaps a student. Also, you might be able to take this opportunity to seriously work on eliminating or substantially reducing debt. For example, perhaps you can save a little more from your household expenses and use the additional funds to pay off a car loan.
Next, take a long term view. What’s your mid-to-long term financial position like? Perhaps you are still working now, but will be retiring in less than 10 years. Have you built up a sufficient nest-egg for your retirement? While Malaysia is generally still a very filial society in which children do care for their parents in old age, the world is changing and the future is uncertain.
Sometimes, our children may not be in a position to care for us in our old age. Or what if they were to secure good jobs overseas and wish to pursue a career in a different country, eventually settling there instead of coming back home to Malaysia?
Tough questions, yes. And often we avoid thinking about them because it raises emotional feelings of fear and uncertainty about the future.
But now that the kids have left home and you have more time and a greater ability to focus on the important things, it is worth taking the time to think about the future and start putting plans into place for your own retirement and old-age care.
Check on your long-term financial position and portfolio. In the event you have to rely on your own means, can you afford to pay for old-age care with your current savings and the returns on your investments in the future? If these are questions you have never considered, or can’t answer, perhaps this time that you have been given away from your responsibilities as full-time parents, is the best time for you to focus on your own financial situation and formulate remedial steps to improve your position if need be. Should your financial portfolio be restructured to generate better returns?
Lastly, it’s never too early to start thinking about the inheritance you wish to leave to your kids. If you haven’t yet drawn up a will, do so now. Don’t forget to nominate beneficiaries for all insurance policies, as well as EPF and other similar schemes you may be contributing to. Restructure your portfolio of assets so that it is easier to distribute them to your children. Find out which taxes apply and be strategic about your legacy.
Yes, there are many useful things that you can fill up your extra time with, that will benefit not just you and your spouse as a couple but also your children, and grandchildren in the long run.
